The year hasn’t ended, but it has already taught me a big lesson.
It’s been my most exciting year. In April, Urban Outfitters released an exclusive Madalynne intimates collection, and in August, Simplicity will release two Madalynne lingerie patterns. A month after, in September, UO will release a second Madalynne collection. To top it off, I’ve been featured on Vogue.com, Philly Mag, Philly Weddings, Mingle Magazine, and will host 8 bra making workshops. Not trying to toot my own horn. Just stating facts.
I don’t mention it much, but in addition to Madalynne, I have a full time job. I work for URBN, which encompasses the brands Anthropologie, Urban Outfitters, Free People, Terrain and BHLDN. I handle internal communications/PR, and am their resident photography, in-house graphic designer and internal blogger. Sound like a lot? It is.
I’ve always been about living a true, authentic life that is full of passion. When my mom died, I was just a teenager, and it was then that I decided to only surround myself with the things, the people and the places that matter the most. Remove everything and everyone that is toxic. I feel incredibly lucky to have been given these opportunities, however, in May, as I was attending press events in NYC and jetting off to London, I was depressed. Super depressed. To make it worse, I felt guilty for feeling the way I did.“How could I have so many good things going on, yet feel so low?” Simple – it was too much.
It was at this point that I realized I needed to make a change. I needed to redefine what success meant to me, and this new definition had to come from within. Nobody else. I was brought up in a household that was very conscious about money. That’s not a bad thing, but it gave me a skewed perception that success is dependent on how much money you have in the bank. Happiness? Who cares if you make 100k+ a year.
I’m in the process of making that change. After 6 1/2 years of working for URBN, I’ve put my big girl panties on and taken the first step towards self-employment. This August, I’ll be transitioning to a part time position at Anthropologie’s Rittenhouse store as a personal stylist so that I can focus on Madalynne full time. Sound like a fun job? Well, I hope it is and I hope it will give me more time to devote to my business. Above all, I hope it will give me more time to live the life I want.
At the end of this year, I won’t measure my success on how much I made. My salary will not be tied to my self worth. Instead, I will ask myself these questions: How many students did I teach? What new skills did I learn? What trips did I take? Did I spend time with the people I love? You come into this world with nothing and you leave with nothing. Making some arbitrary amount is useless if it doesn’t allow you to live the life you want.
I’ll end with – I’m happy again. Finally! I’m proud, excited and nervous for what the future will bring, but I’d rather say “I tried” than “I was too scared.”
Cheers to LOTS more lingerie!